Trafficking
A traffic policeman catches you for speeding. How much will you give him to let you go?
Answer each question with the one option you think you would take in real life. At the end, our bribery expert panel (which operates out of Tihar Jail) will calculate the bribe.
Haan Ji, show me your license. Do you have a license?
  1. Yes
  2. Yes, but I left my license at home
  3. Yes, but it expired yesterday, so I left it at home
  4. Yes but they put someone else’s photo by mistake, and name and address too
Ok. So you don't have a license. Expired yesterday, huh? Do you think I was born yesterday? Speeding and Thieving? Do you want to go to jail?
You were 20kmph above the speed limit. Why were you in such a hurry?
  1. Sirjee, Late for exam
  2. Sirjee, Mother is ill in hospital
  3. Sirjee, Girlfriend's wedding. To someone else
  4. Sirjee, Murderer in car behind me
Today is a holiday. Which exam was this? Did you buy medicine? Nalayak! Then you must be in a hurry to leave, eh? Who? That old woman or her dog?
Anyway, is there a festival coming up?
  1. No
  2. Rakshabandhan
  3. Diwali
  4. Anna Hazare's birthday
Hmm, long time since I had any mithai. Sh*t! I need to buy my sister a gift. Sh*t! I forgot to buy crackers for my kids. God bless Anna Hazare! What a great man!
What vehicle are you driving here?
  1. Hero Honda Karizma (Hrithik vali)
  2. Maruti 800. Bharat mata ki jai!
  3. Aston Martin. Bond sir never gets caught for speeding.
  4. Bajaj Chetak. Sasta aur tikau
Hrithik banega? Saale? I have been serving for 20 years. You know what I drive? BSA SLR! That is why Bond sir never gets fined also How did you manage to speed on that?
Do you speak the local language?
  1. Like a native
  2. I can say 'Yes':, 'No', '%&^%&%&*^*&' and 'Looking sexy'
  3. Basic conversational
  4. Not at all
That's more like it? Do I look sexy to you? Nobody is asking you to translate Ramayana. Shame on you! I will call my Sena to kick you out of this state.
I think I have seen you somewhere. Are you an actor?
  1. I have appeared in some hollywood movies
  2. Local cinema. I play the roll of the don's right hand man/woman
  3. No
  4. Item girl!
All this Hollywood is corrupting today's youth! Yeah, now I remember you. That's a pity. Aapki jawani pe to hum marte hai madam :).
What does your father do?
  1. Police Officer. Just like you
  2. MP/MLA
  3. Beggar
  4. Other
Arey beta, pehle bata dete :). Tum to bade baap ki aulaad nikle. Ye gaadi kiski churayi hai? Baap kya karta hai ye hi nahi pata?!
Why should I let you go?
  1. Sir aaj jaane do. Mere pitaji bahut bade aadmi hai. Long run mein aapka bhala hi hoga
  2. Sir mere baal bachche ghar pe mera intezaar kar rahe hai, 2 din se khana nahi khaya, please jaane do
  3. Sir aap mujhe jaante nahi ho. Mujhse panga liya to bahut bura hoga!
  4. Sir, kyon faaltu mein tension lete ho. Chalo sath baithke samosa khaate hai, chai peete hai…
  5. Sir chup chaap yahi nipta lete hai, kahe ko bade logon ko pareshan karne ka?
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. R.: Congratulations!! The final amount you have to pay the Hawaldar is Rs. . You got off easy. Reasons for your outstanding success include: you are extremely unfortunate in life, many bad things are happening to you. In addition, you are extremely poor and surprisingly well connected. Your condition is such that it melted the non-existent heart of the Hawaldar. God save you.
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. R.: Congratulations!! The final amount you have to pay the Hawaldar is Rs. . This is a good outcome for both you and the Hawaldar. You can be happy because many people pay more than you just did in a similar situation. He can be happy because tonight, he's not going to have to make do with desi daaru.
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. R.: Congratulations!! The final amount you have to pay the Hawaldar is Rs. . You just got robbed. The Hawaldar is laughing all the way to his Swiss Bank. Try again, and you just might hit the record bribe ever paid to a traffic policeman anywhere.
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. R.: Congratulations!! The final amount you have to pay the Hawaldar is Rs. . This is one of the highest bribes a traffic policeman has ever been paid. You are in the S. Khan league of vehicle speeding bribe payers. Your lack of knowledge of the city and your obvious wealth are reasons for your wallet's loss in weight.
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. R.: Congratulations!! The final amount you have to pay the Hawaldar is Rs. . You really have no idea how to negotiate bribes do you? Being filthy rich, and downright stupid are more reasons that contributed to this humongous amount. You could almost buy a college degree for this amount.