Ticket Corruptor
You don't have a train ticket. How much do you need to pay the TC to leave on a jet train?
Answer each question with the one option you think you would take in real life. At the end, our bribery expert panel (which operates out of Tihar Jail) will calculate the bribe that you should pay. Best of luck!
What language do you speak?
  1. English
  2. Hindi
  3. Sign Language
  4. Bhojpuri
  5. Some foreign language
  6. Other regional language
Achcha... Angrezi Babu? Hmm.. Aage bolo. Arey bol nahi sakta kya? Ye hui na baat. What you say? Me no understand. Ye kya anda-gundu bol raha hai, koi samkjhao yaar.
From where to where are you travelling?
  1. Small town , big city (Mumbai jaa raha hoon, hero banne)
  2. Big city , big city (Kaam se jana hai, agar yeh deal sign ho gaya to main promote ho jaunga aur main Tata NANO 20 saal ke EMI pe khareedunga,)
  3. Big city , holiday destination (Is saal Rajasthan mein garmi ki chuttiyon ka mazaa loonga)
  4. Big city , small town (Gaon mein shaadi hai)
  5. Small town , small town (Maine suna hai ki paas ke gaon main har kisi ko ek mixer grinder mil raha hai vote lagane ke liye)
Shakal dekhi hai aaine mein? Money earning opportunity? Even I want one! Yahan log chhutti mana rahe hai aur mujhe kaam karna pad raha hai! Many congratulations ji, many congratulations! Suno, ek mere liye bhi lete aana.
What is the duration of your journey?
  1. 1-6 hours
  2. 6-12 hours
  3. 12-24 hours
  4. 24-36 hours
  5. Train is going through Bihar, can't say
Good. Won't have to see your face for long. Bus le lete.. Train mein kyon baithe? Long journey? Then you must want a berth? Don't say anything about Bihar!
What is the current status of your ticket?
  1. Didnít buy. I knew I was forgetting something!
  2. Waitlist 200 (Bought at station)
  3. Confirmed but for a lower class
  4. Lost - Actually main galat bag le aaya ghar se
  5. Mujhe e-ticket chahiye tha, par maine galti se i-ticket click kiya
Bachpan mein Maa ne Baidyanath Shankhpushpi nahi diya? I have been serving for 20 years. You know what I drive? BSA SLR! Then why in upper class?? Sahi train mein kaise baith gaye? Ye sab A, E, I, O humein bhi nahi samajh aata.
Who are you travelling with?
  1. Alone
  2. With Friends
  3. With Girlfriend ;)
  4. With Mother
  5. With ashes of my dead relative
No friends or family? Aajkal ke bachche bhi sab, aawara.. Hmm.. No funny business in train! Namaste Maa ji! How sad. My condolences
What class are you travelling in?
  1. Sleeper
  2. AC
  3. 1st Class
  4. Roof
  5. Toilet
Why should the TC spare you?
  1. Main seedhe saadhe khaate peete ghar ka shareef ladka hoon
  2. Aap jis gaon se hai, usi gaon se humri sasra ki behnoi ke door ke chachere mamaji ke chauthe bitiya ka saala ha
  3. Mera baap army mein hai
  4. Main R Gandhi ke party se hoon, mujhe lifetime ticketless travel karne ka janm-siddh adhikaar hai
  5. Aap humein bhale hi giraftaar kyon na kare, is ghor brashtachaari ko main kabhi na paise doon, bhale hi main bina TV coverage bhook se kyon na maru... (arre bhelpuri waale bhaiyya, ek bhel dena zara)
That's what they all say! Achcha to humri Nani ka naam batao?! Are you trying to scare me?! Arey hum bhi ushi party se hoon! Kar lo bhaiya, aaj kal to bhelpuri valon se zyada bhook hartaal vale hote hai.
Tumhare bag mein kya hai?
  1. Bhagwad Geeta for dummies
  2. You Can Win
  3. Maa ke haath ka banaya hua khaana
  4. Yeh bag kiska hai agar aapko pata chale to main usko lauta dunga, andar kuch mil jayega sochke maine yeh churaya, mera matlab hai, udhar liya tha
  5. Meri hone waali ki tasveer
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. C.: The final amount you have to pay the Ticket Corruptor, err.. Collector is Rs. . Congratulations! This is one of the lowest bribes that somebody has had to pay this season. Something about you must have appealed to the TC. It could be your origins, your simple heart, or your misery. In any case, very well done indeed!
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. C.: The final amount you have to pay the Ticket Corruptor, err.. Collector is Rs. . This is on the lower side if you go by this BC, sorry TC's track record, but it is not the lowest. You have obviously done a very good job of buttering him up.Try harder and you might even be able to satisfy him without reaching for that 500 rupee note.
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. C.: The final amount you have to pay the Ticket Corruptor, err.. Collector is Rs. . It doesn't seem like your long chat with the TC had any effect on the amount you had to pay to him. Try to appease him a bit more and pay attention to his comments before every question. Best of luck!
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. C.: The final amount you have to pay the Ticket Corruptor, err.. Collector is Rs. . This is one of the highest bribes anyone has paid this TC in a while. Don't know about you, but he is definitely going to enjoy his holidays. Trying to get into his shoes (patent Italian leather) might help you in lowering the bribe.
Your score, brought to you by bribe analyst A. C.: The final amount you have to pay the Ticket Corruptor, err.. Collector is Rs. . Wow! This has to be one of the highest bribes anyone has paid any TC in the whole wide world. Not only do you come from a rich background, but you managed to say just the right things to antagonize the TC. Well, you only have yourself to blame for that.